This awareness is particularly useful for couples who have obvious age gap between them. The understanding of this will assist each partner to s*xually please his or her spouse and, of course, help reduce cases of infidelity to the minimum for the man.
Couples’ s*x drives and taste change with age. For instance, couples within the ages of 20 and 30 years mostly share s*xual similarities in taste, preference, flavour, and craving in respect of their temperament, while couples within the ages of 32 and 39 though have the same s*xual favourite, passion, desire and yearning than those within the ages of 45 and above but the similarities could be altered by their temperament, nature of job/career and lifestyle.
This is the stage where you hear the man complain of premature eja-culation. Because of the s*xual tension between the couple, the man sometimes gets so excited that he eja-culates too quickly. There should not be reason to worry even when couples experience premature eja-culation at this stage because it may be basically as a result of anxiety of performance; the challenge will soon fade away. Or since both of them are so young, the man may be an amateur lover. And this is the stage they skip foreplay as they may see it as torture. Nevertheless, this is the time they could really get to know each other’s body and to figure out their likes or dislikes. The couple should see this as an opportunity to create their own sexual template. Actually, for this age group, this is the time to try it all and talk about what both of them are trying out.
Sometimes, couples are clueless about what to say at this point to really heat s*x up. You have to tell each other what you want. But for many young couples at this stage, talking about s*x may sometimes be embarrassing. This can be especially true of women who may not realise that giving their partner some s*xy instructions in bed is likely to turn them on.
To get comfortable with the kind of talk that drives men into action, a wife can try this slightly ridiculous game. This game lets you reveal where and how you want to be touched (as well as finding out his hot spots) without saying a word. Just tell him you want to practise his favourite move but that he has to physically tell you what it is. Sit nu-de in the middle of the bed, facing each other. Lock eyes with him and fantasise about what you’d like him to do to you while he concentrates on what he wants you to do to him. As if that aren’t fun enough, try to read each other’s mind. After a few minutes, share your thoughts. By now, you should both be hot enough to say anything and be ready to go ‘gaga.’
You can decide to do a ‘leave in message.’ It’s another way for each of you to communicate what you would like without saying a thing. Either of you may go all out to buy an erotic gift and leave a note on the fridge in the morning saying that you don’t mind changing position to a ‘kneeling down and taking off style.’ This style is so unique that it is not a regular style but a special one that you engage in when you want to have a time to remember. And while doing that, take note that for you to get the maximum pleasure, you have to take your time to slowly and passionately rip off your clothes in a wild ride. That is how you really get to know every erotic spot on your mate.
You can even time yourselves to know how far you both can endure heavy foreplay before actual s*x. For a start, set a timer for maybe 20 minutes one day, 30 the next and 40 the day after (every other day could be a good idea). This will force you to figure out each other’s pleasure threshold. Or try this technique: put four little bells on four silky strings, and tie one around both your spouse’s wrist and ankle. Then tell him or her not to jingle while you check out the body geography. Partners can learn a lot about what turns them on just by watching their facial expressions as they struggle to stay still.
The age of 32, 39 or thereabout, hormonally speaking, is a great time for a couple. The man’s testosterone level is still high enough to keep him hot, but he’s not as frivolous as he was in his 20s, when a sideways glance at his wife could spark a raw fire within him and turn him on and keep him hard all day long. Those slightly lower levels of excitement may mean that he may still not have put any premature eja-culation problem behind him, or he may be having new set of dysfunction challenge. The wife may have dry spells when she is pregnant or breastfeeding (both of which can decrease her s*x drive), it is common for breastfeeding women to have inadequate vag-inal lubrication. But experts agree that this is the age when most women hit their s*xual stride.
“In their 30s, this is when majority of spouses are more confident with their bodies, their mates and their s*xuality. They are less afraid to speak up about what they like, so they are more likely to have orgasms. Although the two of them may have come off that initial wild passionate s*x, they may likely settle into what experts call the attachment stage: a period of closeness and contentment when both share a general sense of union and peace of mind. The kind of connection a couple in love share at this stage drives up levels of oxytocin and vasopresin (the two chemicals that flood the brain with feelings of well-being). Here, they think of s*x in the brain before the body. A research was carried out on couples within these age ranges to know the percentage of s*x in the brain.
Researchers wanted to know how much these couples think about s*x on a daily basis. The result are as follows: once a day, 34 per cent; once an hour, 44 per cent; whenever I hear love music, three per cent; I’m too busy to think of it much, 19 per cent.
Besides, it is at this stage that such couples are caring for kids and building careers, so they have less time for spontaneous s*x. Making s*x truly sensational happens when they find ways to put it on their schedule, whether that means more quickies or making foreplay a part of everyday life. But whatever the case may be, the passion must not go off. You both can flood your s*xual senses by carving out a day when you’re not so tired that you can’t imagine wanting to get busy in bed. You can refocus with this relaxing but racy ritual, which will wake up you and your husband’s senses.
Innocently invite him to “talk” over a favourite dish and your favourite music while you change out of your work clothes. Once you’ve stripped down to your underwear, lean over and lick his neck while unbuttoning his shirt. Next, work your way down to his nips, where that tingling sensation will fill his head with s*xy thoughts.
Stimulating your senses is the best way to shut out distractions and ease your way into the bedroom. Even when you’ve got in the mood, you may still have to fit what you used to do in three hours into just few minutes. This makes both of you so connected to each other and s*x becomes even more intimate and soulful, no matter how swiftly you both do it...
Remember, when nature’s doing less to push you into the bedroom, just get down and do it. The more you make love, the more you think about making love. And the more you think about making love, the more you want to make love. But shake things up. Now is the perfect time to explore new moves, since after so many years together, you feel comfortable enough to try wonderful play with your mate or to just be close together than ever before. Besides, at this age, men crave for some s*xual surprises. So ladies, give your man something to reflect on.
by FUNMI AKINGBADE
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